Some great quotes
I've been adding good quotes to the site since at least 2000. Here's my collection of them all, from newest to oldest. I'm sorry, I don't have dates for most of them, the files have moved so many times that it's just not possible. If you've got a good quote for me, please let me know.Current Quote:
"If my enterprise did not interact with other enterprises, then faster version numbers (be they major or minor changes) can be coped with. The problem is that we interact with other enterprises. My ADP timecard program still doesn't support Firefox 4. My Cisco Scan Safe proxy service *just* announced support for Firefox 4. My AT&T online trouble-ticket software is browser based, as is my internal Numara Track It trouble-ticket software. My customers (judges) are required by the state to use a browser based application for calculating child support rulings. All of these things have to work with my browser, and if one of my partners decides that Firefox 5 isn't supported while Mozilla isn't supporting Firefox 4, then I have a problem that drives me back to Internet Explorer." - rtobyr, slashdot comment
File 271:
"It wasn't coming from that place," he insists. "Music is the means."
'To what end?" he is asked.
"Peace." Hancock forcefully states. "It's about peace through global collaboration. That's what drove everything. Because the 21st century will be the century of globalization. And I'm tired of people giving up their power so that someone else writes what globalization is gonna be like. It's like giving up your power as a human being to let someone else determine your destiny. What I'm tryin' to encourage people to do is participate in the designing of the kind of globalized world that you wanna live in, instead of waiting for someone to make one that you don't want to be involved with. And so, I'm showing a positive result of what global collaboration can bring. Global collaboration is a path toward peace."
- Herbie Hancock on The Imagine Project, interview in Down Beat Magazine
File 270:
"We did not choke! We got strangled!
Congrats to play for 60 minutes hockey team Russia!"
- GetItOffMyChest
"The Russians won by beating Canada at their own
hard-checking game in the third period. It was one of the best ice
hockey games ever televised, and, sadly, the team I supported lost.
That in no way tarnishes the quality of the hockey played."
- Bugenhagen
Quotes from the CBC comments of the Canada - Russia World Juniors Hockey gold medal game.
File 269:
"Allison Miller, 14, sends and receives 27,000 texts in a month, her
fingers clicking at a blistering pace as she carries on as many as seven
text conversations at a time."
- Matt Richtel "Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distraction"
Wow.
File 268:
bhall@bh2710-l:/$ uptime
21:49:44 up 36 days, 12:08, 3 users, load average: 0.99, 0.72, 0.67
- My tablet laptop, Ubuntu 10.04 LTS. Have to reboot for a kernel patch.
# uptime
21:51:20 up 443 days, 6:41, 2 users, load average: 1.78, 1.79, 2.10
- This server, Ubuntu 8.04 LTS.
File 267:
"Listen, I've got one wife, I don't need two."
- Tom Bradshaw talking to Dave Dove
File 266:
- From Lolcats
File 265:
"Were not interested in a queen?.the usa is a free nation and will remain that way forever and that?s the way we like it.
I would appreciate if you would be a terrorist to some other country as I am not interested in anything in Canada .
Thank you"
- mntrooper, eBay seller. Fellow members of the Commonwealth, I think you would do well to avoid this person.
File 264:
"When one can't pin down as a truth or reality what should and shouldn't be done, one dwells bewildered and unprotected."
- Tittha Sutra
File 263:
Girl with can of Coors Light: "If you hand me that I'll chug both."
Guy with can of Coors Light: "And then we'll make out?"
Girl with can of Coors Light: "And then we'll make out."
Guy with can of Coors Light: "&%* YEAH!!"
- Overheard 2010.09.11 at 4pm. Welcome back students.
File 262:
"Welcome to the new decade: Java is a restricted platform, Google is evil, Apple is a monopoly and Microsoft are the underdogs"
- Phil Nash
File 261:
"Considering there are people still arguing to the death Apple vs.
Microsoft in the Battlefront with no end in sight, I think we can safely
assume that those with little going for them but an unhealthy obsession
with their mobile platform of choice will keep the
RIM/iOS/Android/WinMob flamefest going for a good 30 or 40 years.
My
only wish is no single platform to become completely dominant. I'd like
Apple's growth to slow, Android to catch up, and WinMob and RIM to make
some sort of healthy showing in consumer space. Nothing has benefitted
all of us more than so many robust choices -- consider how different the
personal computer space could've been if one company hadn't come to
dominate? (stated with no specific ill-will toward MIcrosoft)."
- Cateye
File 260:
"We have nowhere to go, have come from nowhere, and are going nowhere."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
File 259:
"Every new technology promises to help us do more things at once. Now we can send e-mail while listening to music, talking on the phone, and taking a picture, all with the same device. With your energy that dispersed, where is your power?"
- Thich Nhat Hanh
File 258:
"Although I appreciate that many people find Twitter to be valuable, I
find it a truly awful way to exchange thoughts and ideas. It creates a
mentally stunted world in which the most complicated thought you can
think is one sentence long. It’s a cacophony of people shouting their
thoughts into the abyss without listening to what anyone else is
saying. Logging on gives you a page full of little hand grenades:
impossible-to-understand, context-free sentences that take five minutes
of research to unravel and which then turn out to be stupid,
irrelevant, or pertaining to the television series Battlestar Galactica.
I would write an essay describing why Twitter gives me a headache and
makes me fear for the future of humanity, but it doesn’t deserve more
than 140 characters of explanation, and I’ve already spent 820."
- Joel Spolsky
File 257:
"Eclipse is the new Emacs."
- Peter Severin
File 256:
"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
File 255:
"6~777777777755~~~~~ rt5frt54fffff~~7ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
- Ada's first keyboarding contribution
File 254:
"Installing Windows Vista (TM) Service Pack 2...
The installation might take an hour or more. Your computer might need to restart several times during installation."
- Another outstanding Microsoft release.
File 253:
"Everything sucks."
File 252:
File 251:
“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
- Albert Einstein
File 250:
"Time is in pieces. We shake them as a baby shakes its rattle."
- Nicholas Carr
File 249:
"I've actually long been in the camp of people who think that laptops should be small and light and not to be used as desktop replacements. So I think that netbooks are really just 'laptops done right'."
File 248:
"To say that reality can be reduced simply to matter and that consciousness is just a property of the nervous system is no more than a definition of the context in which science operates."
- Matthieu Ricard
File 247:
"Your copy of System Update needs to be updated. Click OK to begin updating System Update."
File 246:
"When people live in freedom, they do not willingly choose leaders who pursue campaigns of terror."
- George W. Bush
File 245:
Interviewer: "So tell me: How do you lose an emu?"
Interviewee: "I blame it on the rescue pig."
- CBC As It Happens 2008.12.16
File 244:
"Now upgrading system from
version 3.33-1.77-02.879 to 3.33-2.09-00.871.
In the meantime, please contemplate
your place in the greater existence."
- Neuros OSD firmware update message. Oh, and the upgrade screen shows a game of Pong. I love Open Source.
File 243:
- Tank Whittaker-Hall joins the family 2008.12.01
File 242:
"One has only to experience Linux and the freedom of FOSS to understand what the benefits truly are. There is just no comparison at all...
- Linux is built to solve IT problems. It is infinitely scalable and usable without any license fee. It is a sea of wealth... A tsunami of technology and understanding to share and use as you see fit. You can rule the IT world with it. If you don't believe this then just ask Google!
- Windows is a business model designed to feed money to a large proprietary corporation. It is as limited and restrictive as bottled water. I could say more.
The more people know about Linux the more difficult it will be for Microsoft."
- Comment from "Ken" from this rather lame article.
File 241:
"How does the use of free software fit into the tough economic climate? Some argue that the recession is an indictment of the capitalist system - is this a fair view?
[Free
software fits in] just the same as it did before. In good times and
bad, you deserve freedom. I consider the recession an indictment of the
deep corruption that is rife because companies have too much political
power - unjust copyright laws are another result of the same basic
problem.
Clearly there's a cost saving element - but how
about the people that had jobs with commercial firms, but are then made
redundant because customers decide to go with free software instead and
no longer need support from commercial suppliers?
This
scenario seems to be based on a misconception. Migrating to free
software doesn't reduce the market for support. Users that bought
commercial support when they used proprietary software generally
continue wanting commercial support when they switch to free software.
One of the advantages of free software is that it permits a free market
for support.
But there's something more fundamentally screwy in
this scenario: confusion about values. It seems to presume that users
will - or is it should? - let a company have unjust power over them for
the sake of increasing that company's income. When you are collecting
for this perverse form of charity, you can count me out. I see no
positive value in a program that requires people to cede their freedom
as a condition of use."
- Richard Stallman 2008.11
File 240:
"Fashion is generally hard to predict, but it usually means "sacrificing
comfort or convenience for the sake of style". Take another look at the
iPod: it has almost no features. It doesn't have an "off" button. Heck,
you can't even change the battery. Not exactly convenient in many ways.
But it sure has style!"
- Steve Yegge
File 239:
"WARNING: RAID-6 is currently highly experimental. If you
use it, there is no guarantee whatsoever that it won’t
destroy your data, eat your disk drives, insult your mother,
or re-appoint George W. Bush."
- Linux RAID6 kernel message from 2004.09
File 238:
"If a university is a repository for knowledge, then some of this knowledge should spill over to the neighbouring community. A university must not be an island where academics reach out to higher and higher levels of knowledge without sharing any of their findings."
- Muhammad Yunus Banker to the Poor p.34
File 237:
"You can go for a beer while I stay with the laundry."
- Sarah-Jane Whittaker with me on vacation in Montreal
File 236:
"How is an untouchable superpower defeated? In many cases, it foolishly
engages itself in an unwinnable war and simply consumes itself."
- Roughly Drafted 2007.05 (In reference to "Microsoft's unwinnable war on Linux", honest.)
File 235:
"Move back to XP from Vista with extended support until April 8, 2014:
Downgrade rights are an end-user right and are documented in the product License Terms or End-User License Agreement (EULA) and refer to the ability of your customers to acquire the most recent version of Microsoft® operating system software but continue to run a previous version until they are ready to move to the new operating system version."
- Email from DirectDial.com 2008.06. You know it's good when companies advertise downgrade options a year and a half after release.
File 234:
"That's like bringing a knife to a gun fight."
- One of my sister's neighbours.
File 233:
"Take care of your stick and your stick will take care of you."
- Don Cherry 2008.04.14
File 232:
"Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy"
- Sign at The Swan restaurant, Kemptville
File 231:
"What an experience! This could be dangerous. What if he's after... my pants? Without my sensational pants I'm... nobody!"
- Lionel from Dunder Klumpen, the most memorable film from my childhood
File 230:
"So being so inexact as to use "play writes", rather than the correct
form "playwrights", gets us a mailbox full of tart corrections and
abuse, but saying that Palm OS development is dying if not already dead
gets nothing."
- TheRegister 2007.02
File 229:
"Looking at the Pearl we can see that it is significantly more less wide than the 8700 and not has blocky as the 7130."
- Sal Cangeloso, Geek.com BlackBerry review
File 228:
"Technical knowledge is not enough. One must transcend techniques so that the art becomes an artless art, growing out of the unconcious."
- Daisetsu Suzuki (1870-1966)
File 227:
"We find young skater may make strange or be distracted in parents remain at ice level."
- Kingston Skating Club Group Lesson Overview. 2007.12
File 226:
"Rarely in the history of the law have so few undone so much so quickly"
- Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer
File 225:
Windows Vista
Any operating system that provokes a campaign for its predecessor's reintroduction deserves to be classed as terrible technology. Any operating system that quietly has a downgrade-to-previous-edition option introduced for PC makers deserves to be classed as terrible technology. Any operating system that takes six years of development but is instantly hated by hordes of PC professionals and enthusiasts deserves to be classed as terrible technology.
Windows Vista conforms to all of the above. Its incompatibility with hardware, its obsessive requirement of human interaction to clear security dialogue box warnings and its abusive use of hated DRM, not to mention its general pointlessness as an upgrade, are just some examples of why this expensive operating system earns the final place in our terrible tech list.
- CNet's final entry in their Top ten terrible tech products.
File 224:
"If there's one thing I've learned in Engineering, it's to cheat to win."
- Hugh the Engineer, who thankfully lost in the first round of the ITS Wii bowling tournament
File 223:
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
- Popular Mechanics, 1949
File 222:
From: Ryan Laginski Subject: Vista Date: 11/8/07
Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Ass. Being my first time using it, I was trying to be open to it.
File 221:
"Now, even the power switch icon in the start menu doesn't have an option to turn the computer off."
- More well deserved praise for Windows Vista
File 220:
"As long as you all keep thinking of the 770 as an island you will be
limited to what you can do on the island. As soon as you begin thinking
of the 770 as a network device and how to use the power of all the
devices on the network then you will be able to make use of all of the
devices, applications, storage and versatility of the network itself,
LAN and WAN.
The 770 by itself is going to continually frustrate you until you
understand its role in network computing, primarily as a wireless
remote display with rich user input, exceptional resolution and
advanced discovery. Do yourselves and everyone a favor by thinking of
the 770 less as a device and more of a state-of-the-art network display
and input device. Think of it for the access to the network that it
provides to you."
- Remote User on the Nokia Internet Tablet forums
File 219:
"The motion sensor doesn't support disk parking yet (![[WWW]](https://help.ubuntu.com/htdocs/ubuntu/img/u-www.png){kind=small}
bug #139881), but you can play physical neverball 
"
- MacBook Ubuntu community page. Talk about priorities!
File 218:
"Not the ferocity of magic marker, or the heartlessness of ketchup and mustard can scare YES Essentials(tm) fabric. This revolutionary seating fabric will conquer almost anything."
- YES Essentials upholstry tag found in a 2008 Dodge Charger.
File 217:
"Wired News: You're vilified in the open-source community.
McBride: I've noticed. "
- Wired interview with SCO's CEO Darl McBride. Welcome to Chapter 11. Good riddance.
File 216:
"Operating systems matter deeply to programmers, but in the big
picture, they're old news. It's all about the network, and the
applications that let you get benefit from the network. Using a
computer isn't an end in itself, it's merely a means to an end. The
focus must always be on the task that the person wants to
accomplish, to communicate, to learn, to create, to be entertained.
Insofar as the computer itself makes itself known in this process, the
computer is an impediment"
- jwz, 1998
File 215:
"
- Opinion of Ray Wong
File 214:
"If you want to do something that's going to change the world, build software that people want to use instead of software that managers want to buy.
When words like "groupware" and "enterprise" start getting tossed around, you're doing the latter. You start adding features to satisfy line-items on some checklist that was constructed by interminable committee meetings among bureaucrats, and you're coding toward an externally-dictated product specification that maybe some company will want to buy a hundred "seats" of, but that nobody will ever love. With that kind of motivation, nobody will ever find it sexy. It won't make anyone happy."
- jwzFile 213:
"Please retain your ticket. Violletions will be procecated."
- Notice on Kos bus ticket. Greetings from Greece!
File 212:
"They like to paint the battle as Sun vs. the community, and it's not. Companies compete, communities simply fracture."
- Jonathan Schwartz
File 211:
"Quibbling over DRM protection schemes and corporate control over
distribution networks is like arguing about who gets the best stateroom
on the Titanic."
- Comment posted by "mdh" on Nick Carr's Rough Type.
File 210:
From: Bill Gates
Sent: Sunday, January 24, 1999 8:41 AM
TO: Jeff Westorinon; Ben Fathi; Carl Stork (Exchange); Nathan Myhrvofd; Eric Rudder
Subject: ACPI extensions
One thing I find myself wondering about is whether we shouldn’t try and make the "ACPI" extensions somehow Windows specific. If seems unfortunate if we do this work and get our partners
to do the work and the result is that Linux works great without having to do the work. Maybe there is no way Io avoid this problem but it does bother me. Maybe we could define the APIs so that they work well with NT and not the others even if they are open. Or maybe we could patent something related to this.
- Bill Gates
File 209:
"The process of picking through illegible code required intense focus, but was not a cognitively stimulating task."
- Dave Gallant on documenting CMSimple's source code. 2007.03.28
File 208:
"I mean, what's the point in learning something that doesn't interest you
so that you can attend talks that don't interest you?
"
- Lenko Grigorov 2007.03.16
File 207:
"Hey... I thought the new server was ubuntu? It seems like this machine
is just a complete mirror of the old machine. There is still alot of
"*borked*" files/folder lying around."
- Nate Hollingsworth Ah, the sign of a clean migration. Sarge to Dapper on totally new hardware. Welcome, Stihl.
File 206:
"Music is an art that exists in the dimension of time."
File 205:
"The Unix problems are not being addressed. The vendors think "standards" are the answers. The programmers think "free" software is the answer. The customers think NT is the answer. "
- Larry McVoy "The Sourceware Operating System Proposal" 1993
File 204:
"Buy this car to drive to work, drive to work to pay for this car."
- Metric "Handshakes"
File 203:
"I thought we were going to do fine yesterday, shows what I know."
- George Bush 2006.11.08
File 202:
"Be sure to use the version of adprep that is on Windows Server 2003 R2 Disc 2, not the version that is on Disc 1."
- From "Steps for extending the [Actice Directory] Schema" Needed to add a Windows 2003 R2 DC to an existing Windows 2003 domain.
File 201:
"Imagine Steve Jobs
standing in a room and seeing an Apple-branded machine running
Windows natively. Yup - that's what I thought. Jobs would rather
sell Pixar to Disney than see that."
- Jeff Adkins 2002.10.17
File 200:
"The entire sum of existance is the magic of being needed by just one other person."
- My wife's fortune cookie. (Thanks May!)
File 199:
"You know, I – nobody's accused me of having a real sophisticated
vocabulary. I understand that. And maybe their – their words are more
sophisticated than mine."
- George Bush on why he mis-quotes Democrats 2006.10
File 198:
"You might be aware that iPod users are restricted from transferring their music to other non-Apple devices because the music downloaded from iTunes is encrypted - locked with DRM. It allows you to write an audio CD, but if you ever want to take your music to a new portable device in a compressed format, you will end up with very lousy sound quality. These drawbacks are of course there for a reason: customer lock-in. Apple inconveniences its customers into binding themselves to Apple products.
This type of nuisance is but the foreshadow of greater ones to come. Standing behind the technology companies, the film and music industry (Big Media) loom large. To increase their control, they demand technology companies impose DRM. The technology companies no longer resist. Of course many of the technology companies now see themselves as part of Big Media. Sony is a film and music company, Microsoft is an owner of MSNBC, and Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, sits on the board of Disney. These technology companies cannot be expected to serve the interests of the technology consumer.
Big Media hope that DRM will deliver to them what their political lobbying to change copyright law never has: they aim to turn our every interaction with a published work into a transaction, abolishing fair use and the commons, and making copyright effectively last forever. They will say that you accepted DRM and willingly surrendered your rights. That you did so under duress, they will call irrelevant."
- An excerpt from "What is DRM?"File 197:
| CATEGORY |
GLOBAL HECTARES |
| FOOD | 1.6 |
| MOBILITY | 0 |
| SHELTER | 2.3 |
| GOODS/SERVICES | 1.8 |
| TOTAL FOOTPRINT | 5.7 |
IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 8.8 GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON.
WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 1.8 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON.
IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 3.2 PLANETS.
- My results from the Earth Day Footprint Quiz.
File 196:
"I am an omnimore!!"
- Ryan Laginski at Fi's 26th birthday bash
File 195:
"If I turned up at your house and put a bug in your telephone handset
and then told you that I might have done and that it would enable me to
listen to every single phone call that you ever made again, would you
still be sat there on your lazy behind watching the TV and paying no
attention to the rest of the world that has, contrary to popular
belief, continued to exist around you or would you get up and try to
kick my ass?"
- An excerpt from a website featured on Digg.
File 194:
"The video resolution is 320 x 240, QVGA resolution. And so we'll do
H.264 playback as well, because there's a lot of content out on the web
for video iPods. Lots of DVD ripping software out there that encodes to
those formats, so the most popular formats out there, whether it's
MPEG-4 or H.264, we'll support those."
- Microsoft's Corporate Vice Presidend, J Allard on the new Zune player. Yes, ripping a DVD is illegal in the USA.
File 193:
"[W]ars are conducted
against armies of other nations. They end when the armies are defeated
militarily and a peace treaty is signed. Terror is an emotional state.
It is in us. It is not an army. And you can't defeat it militarily and
you can't sign a peace treaty with it.
- George Lakoff and Evan Frisch "Five Years After 9/11: Drop the War Metaphor"
File 192:
"Luckily the airport security people did not think that a metal box with lots of wires sticking out was a dangerous object."
- Henk Meijer who brought a power supply back to the Netherlands. (Presumably as carry-on luggage.)
File 191:
"Every month about 90 percent of American children between the ages of three and nine visit a McDonald's."
- Eric Schlosser Fast Food Nation
File 190:
"Pledging content to [public domain] is great because you dont have to be 70 years dead to appreciate someone else using it."
- Andy Fitzsimon
File 189:
Novelists
aren’t expected to help people read their books; musicians don’t help
fans play their CDs; but programmers are expected to help you with
their software.
- John Gruber
File 188:
"The yuppies are coming (Score:5, Insightful)
But what they don't know is that downtown Linuxville hasn't been a rough a place for a few years now. It still clings to its tough reputation, but it's all college kids and coffee bars now. The place is gentrifying, and has a bit of that yuppie stench to it these days. It's not yet all Wonderbread and Wal-mart, like Windowsland, up the highway, but the Windowsland folks are moving in, and it's starting to get that feel.
The old-timers who gave Linux the frightening reputation that it carries, have long since settled down, had kids, and moved out to the leafy lanes and plush lawns of Mactown, to get away from the plastic Windowsland people. As a result, the Mactown folks have realized those Linux guys aren't so scary after all, beards and sandles notwithstanding. Maybe, some of the Mactown folks think, we could get a condo in Linuxville, and try some of that inner city living. Just on weekends for a start.
So they get a luxury condo in Linuxville, right on Ubuntu Street, which was built by a big-name property developer who saw that all the starving artists were living in the area, building cool lofts and studios from the abandoned tenements and factories of old Unixville. So he bottled up that artsy mojo and built a condo development with new appliances, and hardwood floors, and put in a Starbucks on the ground floor, and marketed it heavily to Mactown and Windowsland people looking for a change. Come to Linuxville! Not as scary as you think! But every bit as edgy! Now with taskbars! Sometimes you get contemptuous looks from the mean looking men who still hang out on Slackware Road, but it's best not to go down there if you can help it. If you can avoid them (and ignore the snotty punks on Gentoo Avenue), then it's all terrifically edgy and artsy, and just so-o-o-o nerdy cool in that certain je-ne-sais-quoi kind of way. It feels like they're right on the cutting edge, where the culture is created, where everything happens, just like they read in Wired Magazine in 1996."
File 187:
Spring/Summer Cleaning:
Tigasis (Linux P4 running Ubuntu 5.04, then 5.10, now 6.06)
$ uptime
11:50:52 up 297 days, 21:48, 13 users, load average: 9.13, 6.48, 3.17
Zeus (Sun V440, 4-CPU 8GB RAM running Solaris 8)
$ uptime
2:40pm up 283 day(s), 5:16 4 users, load average: 0.07, 0.06, 0.06
Wisdom (Sun Enterprise 250, Solaris 8)
$ uptime
1:41pm up 707 day(s), 3:17, 1 user, load average: 0.04, 0.04, 0.03
File 186:
Thank you Adobe. As seen on deviantART.
File 185:
"There are no good funk songs."
- Dave Dove
File 184:
"PuTTY does ssh now?"
- Jiro Inoue, who has apparently been using PuTTY to telnet for years.
File 183:
"We certainly didn't pull out because we weren't doing good."
- Queen's Principal Karen Hitchcock defending the university's decision to withdraw from the Maclean's survey
File 182:
Selected comments from the LinuxWorld conference in Toronto, 2006.04.25
"We are criminally wasteful"
- Speaker at an IBM talk
"Have you tried CentOS? It's cheaper."
- Red Hat employee at their booth
File 181:
"If you legally acquire music, you need to have the right to manage it on all other devices that you own."
- Steve Jobs, 2002.03.04
File 180:
"The Large Print Giveth...
... and the small print taketh away."
File 179:
"As soon as you start believing the system you are using is perfect,
it will stop improving."
- David Chisnall (Very interesting reading.)
File 178:
"Apple," Jim Clark will sigh, as if he were talking about a horse on its way to the glue factory. "They're not doing anything... Apple blew it."
"I think the government ought to work the way you do," Clinton told Clark.
- Excerpts from Wired interview with SGI CEO Jim Clark, January 1994
File 177:
"When Oracle sits on the top of the couch, it does have a tendency to spread the leather."
- Pauline Sicard, 2006.02.18. For the record, Oracle is her 35 pound cat. She has only recently admitted that it isn't all fur.
File 176:
- A helpful dialog that popped up in Mac OSX 10.4
File 175:
"Before you go romancing Dells, don't forget you're still paying alimony [for the PowerBook]."
- My wife and accountant
File 174:
"Will O2 run Linux?
Prepubescents want to know
Get out the clue-bat"
- The O2 Haiku page
File 173:
"Okay, Dave and I are going to do a solo."
- Wendy Powley 2006.02.04
File 172:
"Ulrike, our VP Marketing, contacted a magazine we will not call PC Gamer
and they laughed at us, thinking our titles were a joking! Well, as the
old German saying goes, may the cat eat you and the Devil eat the cat and
also your foolish coconut monkey item, der Wederman!"
- Karsden Mörderhäschen, CEO of Schadenfreude Interactive
File 171:
"We all like Barenaked Ladies."
- Peter Mansbridge 2006.01.23
File 170:
File 169:
"They've taken the fun out of [garbage] dumps. They aren't what they used to be."
- Dale Whittaker
File 168:
"You can't listen to it too hard or you hear it all."
- Amber Simpson on Jessica Simpson's new album
File 167:
"As long as the price is right, people will tend to be honest."
- Steve Wozniak
File 166:
The leader
Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to accept every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real,
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mold,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight wont do
Never back down when he sees what is true
Tells it all straight, and means it all too
Bracing for war, but praying for peace
Using his power so evil will cease:
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must
- Ode to George Bush as seen in bush-funded Pakistani textbooks. No joke.
File 165:
mooncake bicycle get Outland. dog `You ought to car be ashamed of
yourself,' said ferry Alice, `a great SQK
gas make another effort to reach the home nearest inhabited settlements,
The next thing was to management eat the comfits: this guess caused some
banker noise SQK effect benefit beach terribly.
"_Her_ cipher is C. B.," apple face he said, in low, broken tones. "C.
- Spam poetry (or how to get past a spam filter.)
File 164:
From: Jim Cordy
Subject: [News] Congratulations Tom, Gary, Dave, Richard & Ben!
Congratulations to our technical staff, Tom Bradshaw, Gary Powley,
Dave Dove, Richard Linley and Ben Hall, on being chosen this year
to receive a Queen's Special Recognition for Staff award!
The technical staff will be specially recognized and awarded their plaques
on Staff Appreciation Day, Dec 1, at the Principal's Reception.
Please join me in congratulating our great tech team on this
recognition of their many years of outstanding work!
Jim
File 163:
"Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should
they care about it," he asked? "The software is designed to protect our
CDs from unauthorized copying, ripping."
- Thomas Hesse, President of Sony BMG's global digital business division
File 162:
"Ghost and Dell do not go well (hey, that rymes!)"
- A posting on Technosailor
File 161:
File 160:
"When powered on, the Ultra 3 generates a tremendous
amount of heat -- so much that the glue attaching the rubber feet to
the bottom of the computer loses its cohesiveness after a few hours'
time. The Ultra 3 significantly raised the temperature of my office and
noticeably heated a six-inch radius around it. <snip> Don't even think of putting this computer
on your lap after it's been simmering on a desk for a few hours; you
could burn. The system fans spin up to noise levels commensurate with
those of a standard desktop midtower computer."
- Jem Matzen reviewing Sun's Ultra 3 Laptop
File 159:
"[Ubuntu 5.10,] Breezy is a top-notch operating system that just happens to be open source."
- Jason Norwood-YoungFile 158:
"Bring a Windows laptop to any open source convention or event, and unless you're looking for help moving to Linux, you'll get crucified. Bring a Mac OS X laptop to an open source event, and lo and behold, you're ok. Pull up a seat buddy, would you like a beer? Need help with the old house payment? How can I help you? Want me to mow your lawn this weekend?
They get out of jail free.
Somehow, being an OSX user makes you part of the club. It makes you part of a club alright, it makes you part of the "oh, we all hate Microsoft, so we're all a big happy family right?" club. A Mac friend of mine once commented to a user "It's things like user-friendly DRM delivered via iTunes that will change the market." Here's another one.. "Only Apple could bring UNIX to the masses." or how about "Apple gives me the best in open source and the best desktop ever."
There is no doubt that OSS developers and users are embracing OSX, and that's fine, good for you. It's a great development platform, and has a good user experience. There are 3,458,739,457 lessons there that OSS developers can learn from. If "UNIX on the desktop" is your goal, then that's great. We've got work to do to get to the Just Works(tm) that OSX has. It's unfortunate that so many OSS people don't realize that the goal was never "UNIX on the desktop", the goal is "A Free desktop". Doh.
We need to stop idolizing OSX as some kind of holy panacea of user nirvana. OSX has it's flaws. Both the hardware AND the operating system are controlled by one vendor. Finder-haters are as common as Nautilus-haters. So please, everyone chill with the hero worship, you're as good as a Windows guy with Cygwin to me at this point. :)
This rant brought to you by my two friends who switched to OSX and
think they can still "be all about open source!" and get to hang out
without being made fun of. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to see
what the pitivi guys are going to be doing about adding wood panels to their interface. Wood panels. FFS."
- Jorge Castro, 2005.10.07
File 157:
"You only have to buy good tools once."
- Dave Dove
File 156:
"i also like to avoid thread craping but...
he's asking 1000$ a thousand!! thats enough to buy a copy of wow and 2 slaves to play non stop in consetion untill your lv 60
you could buy 3 60-70's vw shit buckets and have a demaliton durby in your back yard
you could fly to the uk and back and have money to spare
you could have the best hookers in kingston and still have enough for 3 shitty vw's
you could invest in someting worth your while like therapist to talk to
after your wife leaves you for spending 1000$ on a video game
point and case lol"
- otakunorth, commenting on someone attempting to sell a World of Warcraft character for 1000$
File 155:
"There's this compulsarary [sic] party that I have to go to."
- Random Queen's Student. 2005.09.09 Welcome back!
File 154:
"(@JH) you know you can get stuff engraved on an iPod? I was thinking about this..
(@JH) RIAA v. JH - Exhibit A"
- From here
File 153:
"I've spent the better portion of 2 days attempting to install Oracle on RHEL. So the installer goes for about 2 hours, then, just mysteriously dies. Nothing in the logs, no discernable errors of anykind. The big gray Java installer window just disappears.
Calls to my Oracle-smart friend bear no fruit, with disturbing things like "Dude you didn't apply any kernel errata did you? Don't do that, it'll break." to "Did you modify /etc/redhat-release? Sometimes you need to lie to it." to my personal favorite, "Yeah, that's nothing, wait until you find out how many of your system libraries got overwritten without you knowing about it, I think the glibc on our production machines is older than me."
People pay 40,000 per CPU for this priviledge."
File 152:
"This pie is the punctuation mark on the end of my vacation."
- Ken Hall
File 151:
"People might cite George Bush as proof that you can be totally impervious to the effects of Harvard and Yale education."
- Barney Frank, referring to Bush's stance on 'Intelligent Design' Theory in the classroom
File 150:
"We took chess and turned it into a toy. And that's why I'm here and not on Ideas."
- Danny Finkleman. Thanks for the great show Danny, enjoy retirement. 2005.06.25
File 149:
"This time, it isn't a younger brother sneaking through warm and
humming August beneath the birch tree, but you are still the
unsuspecting victim who hung and swung in childhood and who has once
more been tipped, this time after drowsing for 20 years in a
University hammock."
- W.O. Mitchell "Ladybug, ladybug"
File 148:
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other
people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want
to become. Everything else is secondary."
- Steve Jobs 2005.06.12
File 147:
"'Jerks' and busy roads
threaten to wipe out turtles
Westbrook should have
turtle crossing signs,
says Sandy Meech,
wildlife protector"
- Headline for the Kingston Whig-Standard, 2005.06.13
File 146:
"We couldn't smell the cat piss because of the smoke."
- Ryan Laginski, referring to his new apartment
File 145:
"Mr. McNealy compared Sun's agreement with Microsoft to a pair of boxers who shake hands by tapping gloves and "promise not to bite each other's ears off." But he got in at least a nip, telling the audience that while Sun does run Windows to ensure interoperability, employees who aren't in engineering aren't allowed "to connect Windows to our network for security and viruses reasons. … For another $2.4 billion maybe I won't say that."
- WSJ article quoting Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun Microsystems
File 144:
Be Smart:
Printing a counterfeit license is illegal. Burn all unused printouts.
- Max Forgé,"How to Make Driver's Licenses and Other ID on Your Home Computer"
File 143:
"Microsoft is working with Ford Motor Co towards cars that can't crash."
- Slashdot posting
File 142:
Subject: personal thought organizer
MAN your thingy is SO COOL
I can hear my thoughts ... i don't lose them.....
THIS IS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOL
The world now needs to see the new satmeet.....
If i am even infinitesmally more organized , man .... there will me no
more balance in nature as the life will become less chaotic.
thanks
satmeet
- Satmeet Soin 2005.04.26
File 141:
"It may be difficult to extricate Mr. Grumbles from the Pet Valu."
- Sarah Whittaker
File 140:
Okay, this isn't a quote, but it's kinda cool. Well, to me at least.
Check it out! Linuxgruven is first on Google! Um, sorta. ;-)
File 139:
"Exceptional students enrich our lives"
- Dr. Roel Vertegaal
File 138:
"I'd very much like to make the distro project sustainable, because I've never had the privilege to work with such talented guys who work as hard as this team, and they deserve to be rewarded and to know that people appreciate the value they add every day. If it doesn't work utthat way, though, I'm honoured to consider it a gift back to the open source world, which played such a critical role in helping me build Thawte. So I hope it's commerce, though it may turn out to be philanthropy. Either way, it's still cheaper than going back to space, or hooking up with fast planes/boats/women, which I supposed would be Plan B."
- Mark Shuttleworth discussing Ubuntu Linux
File 137:
"Pretension is the Devil's handiwork"
- Danny Finkleman (2005.04.02)
File 136:
"Pretension is the Devil's handiwork"
- Danny Finkleman (2005.04.02)
File 135:
"From a corporate perspective, we are not confident where Linux is
right now today. A large enterprise needs to be sure because it relates
to securifying the environment. We see some of the same things
occurring that did to Unix -- it could splinter into many different
types of languages."
- Robb Rasmussen, vice president of EDS Global Alliances
File 134:
Subject: [CASLAB] Linux
Description:- Anonymous request for software installation. 2005.03.04
can we install putty on linux.
File 133:
From the bundled CD recording program that ships with Toshiba laptops comes an amazing dialog that you'd never see in Mac OSX.
File 132:
"You have to actually understand the ideas before this makes sense to you. Just being able to google the words isn't enough."
- Leo McGarry 2005.02.16
File 131:
"The European Parliament has thrown out a bill that would have allowed software to be patented."
- BBC News
File 130:
"Browsing is definitely a point of vulnerability."
- Bill Gates
File 129:
"I remember sitting with Steve and some other people night after night from nine until one, working out the user interface for the first iPod. It evolved by trial and error into something a little simpler every day. We knew we had reached the end when we looked at each other and said, "Well, of course. Why would we want to do it any other way?"
— Jeff Robbin, lead software designer for iTunes and the iPodFile 128:
"I logging into Zeus using X-Wing to log in."
- The students send me the best messages. Me, I've always preferred an A-Wing.
File 127:
"I recently saw a picture of a shoeless boy in rural Africa who had
scratched the Nike swoosh logo onto his bare foot. Corporations
can now truthfully claim that more people have heard of them than most
of the worlds' political leaders."
- Charles Derber, "People Before Profits" pages 62, 63
File 126:
File 125:
Ben: "The rumor sites are suggesting PowerBook speedbumps this week or next."
Sarah: "Speedbumps?"
Ben: "Yeah, from 1.33GHz to 1.5GHz."
Sarah: "And here I had a vision of Kali not having a flat surface to put her ass on."
- Sarah-Jane Whittaker, commenting on our cat's preference for sitting
on the iBook
File 124:
Obvious (Score:5, Funny)
by pjf(at)gna.org (807061) 
on 05:03 PM January 31st, 2005 (#11533199)
(http://pjf.dotgeek.org/)
> which Linux delivers the best balance of
> stability, high-level support options, security,
> rapid updates, and ease of administration
2.4
- Slashdot posting
File 123:
"I'm a big BitTorrent user and chagrined that they shut down SuprNova
two days ago--where the SuprNova guys decided to punt because of
various legal pressures. Clearly a mistake on behalf of the music
companies, because here you have this site that could help them get a
handle on it.
By putting it out of business all it will do is make the stealth systems
stealthier. There's obvious things you could do to BitTorrent where you
wouldn't need the central site--that's just going to happen sooner.
Suing your customers is not a winning strategy. The contradictions are
amazing. For the last 40-some years they've been paying radio stations
to broadcast their music for free. It's really hard for me to see the
big difference between that and file sharing."
- Andy Hertzfeld, CNet interview 2005.01.11
File 122:
Lily wrote:
> Hello,
>
> It would be great if someone could tell how I would switch between
> Linux and Win98 OS. Each of the OS's are on a seperate hard drive. I
> have the Linux as the primary master and Win 98 as the primary Salve.
> If I wanted to switch back and forth how would I do that?
>
> Also my Linux does not recognize the A drive. When I try to mount the
> A drive, it gives me the error specify device. I know the floppy is Ok
> because I can access it through Win98.
>
> Thanks.
Ummm... Hey, are you a girl? How old are you.
Sorry, I'm just looken for a techie girl friend.
Nick
- Forum post
File 121:
Subject: Answer on a Chemistry mid-term
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A.
- Forwarded from my father, 2004.12.08File 120:
"E-mail has just erupted like a weed, and instead of considering what to say when they write, people now just let thoughts drool out onto the screen."
- R. Craig Hogan, What corporate America can't build: a sentenceFile 119:
< This quote left intentionally blank. I _really_ needed a break... >
File 118:
The truth is out there
File 117:
"So, I want to solve this MySQL thing quick so I can go out for a walk."
- Dave Dove, 2004.11.25File 116:
"The mutant file system on the school computers are messed up. I have seen someone lose their file like this without compiling. If anyone wants to petition the School of Computing and/or Information "Technology" "Services" to provide us with cross-link free/corruption free storage, I would participate. As it is I think you should ask the instructor for an extension due to "technical difficulties"."
- Student complaint 2004.11.21. He'd overwritten his code after setting gcc's -o to the source file. ;-)File 115:
"You DO realise I have an engineering degree right?"
- Dr. Karen Rudie, according to Rate My ProfessorsFile 114:
"Why do they keep sending me these rubbers? I asked for the longer ones!"
- Laurie Truman, referring to rubber bands. Or so the story goes...File 113:
"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?"
- Ken Hall, who heard it from Mike Faulk.File 112:
"This is a good rental, but a little too over explained story line. Should of keep one guessing, and a little more nastier, instead of shocking."
- Mike Washen's review of Van Helsing, IMDB. Huh? The movie sucked and that "review" makes no sense.File 111:
"Sweet, but not for linux boxes!"
the postman on 13-Dec-2003 03:04:36 PM
File 110:
"Well, we clubbed them mostly, with brooms and 2x4's. That got most of um..."
- An Alberta citizen lets CBC radio in on how pest control works in the province. 2004.09.21File 109:
Subject: about the download file
Dear Sir: I can't check my course website. I guress there is some restriction problem. could you fix it for me thanks - Another informative message... 2004.09.15File 108:
"Subject: I wanna an Electrical and computer engineering account
Hello Hall I have not received my Elec computing account.Would you please create a one for me. Regards,
Fawzi" - Student request, 2004.09.14
File 107:
"Like, you know, I'd love to be a professor, but, you know..."
- Obvious frosh. They're back. 2004.09.07File 106:
"Corel, didn't Microsoft buy them?"
- Mark Mitchell, 2004.08.21File 105:
"Idleness is the holiday of fools."
- A fortune cookie. 2004.08.25File 104:
[To the theme from Gunsmoke]
Dun-da-da-dun-da-da-
dun-da-da-dun-da-da-
Sal-mon ...
File 103:
"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."
- George W. BushFile 102:
"Do not think that rabbit pee is anything like standard mammal pee. It is thick and bright.
Thick and bright." - Mike WoodFile 101:
"Kill zcat," sed ed. "Awk!" sed perl. "Make sum nice tee, joe," sed man. Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.- Siva
File 100:
File 99:
"Toronto will become home this weekend to what's being touted as the first retail computer store devoted exclusively to Linux-based products.' [snip] Marc and David Silverman had been selling Linux products over the Web for 18 months. They also operate a car wash and figured they could use surplus office space at that location to open a Linux store."
- Headline of a Slashdot article.File 98:
Sorry, this isn't really a quote, I just wanted to let everyone know we're getting married! That's right, Sarah and I will be tying the knot at 12:30 p.m. on Sunday, May 16, 2004!
If anyone actually reads the site, I'm sorry, there won't be any updates for a few weeks. ;-) We're heading off to France and Italy later today. We won't be getting back until the end of May.File 97:
"The only way to change the default behavior of Nautilus is to set an obscure registry key via the command line or the registry editor. Not even that abomination of operating systems, Windows 95, made users retreat to the registry editor to use a single window to navigate folders. I can only assume that the GNOME developers decided to make Nautilus a worse Windows than Windows. I toast their rousing success.
Granted, there are myriad unintuitive keystrokes and shift-key/mouse-click operations you can use to make it easier to navigate folders, all of which will mean squat to the daft simpletons the GNOME developers say they are targeting as their users. But GNOME developers have long since abandoned logic when defending their design choices. For example, one GNOME developer says there's a good reason why users can't change individual colors in desktop themes: Someone might accidentally make both the text and background white, thus rendering the text unreadable. Of course, this flaw has nothing to do with the inflexibility of the primitive graphical tool kit upon which GNOME was based. It was deliberately designed to protect users who are invariably too incompetent to pick their own colors but are smart enough to memorize shift-clicks and keystrokes or edit the registry to get Nautilus to work the way they like. Of all the criticisms one might lodge against GNOME, it's the hypocrisy of its design philosophy that looms largest. GNOME grew out of the desire to free people from Microsoft's ability to dictate what users can or can't do. Yet GNOME is built on the premise that its developers are so much wiser than users when it comes to navigating folders and setting colors that GNOME users shouldn't have a choice in the matter. With an attitude like that, heaven help us if GNOME turns out to be the only defense Linux has on the desktop against a Microsoft hegemony." - Nicholas PetreleyFile 96:
"I got called in once to recover a production Oracle instance that had completely disappeared after a system restart. This shutdown and restart had been planned for a long weekend to allow building management to work on their power distribution system --but no one expected the production database to go AWOL and there were several hundred bemused users wandering the halls looking lost and lonely when I arrived.
As it turned out, the DBA they had hired after me was an MSCE with a spectacularly limited knowledge of Solaris. In a highly successful bid to improve on system performance she had rebuilt my configuration to get rid of those unsightly raw disks she didn't grok and put almost everything as cooked files on /tmp. That worked very well from a performance perspective but came to an ugly and unexpected end on reboot." - Paul MurphyFile 95:
"The world has slowed down because of lawyers."
- Danny Finkleman (2004.04.24)File 94:
"Nor would Microsoft's pricing be considered predatory if its chief opponent was free software. The fact that most non-free software from commercial developers would also die would be inconsequential, or that would be the claim. But when the decks were cleared and Microsoft was down to, say $20 billion in cash, you can bet the rates would go back up in what might be properly perceived as traditional monopolistic behavior. Only in this case, it would be Microsoft responding to its competition and only inadvertently killing everyone else. On the face at least, it would be legal, thanks to Open Source -- the Ralph Nader of software."
- Robert CringelyFile 93:
"Yes, we acknowledge that and we apologize for it. The conduct involved competition that went over the line."
- David Tulchin, a Microsoft attorneyFile 92:
"An acquaintance recently purchased the new Peter Gabriel CD. It played fine on her standard CD players, but would not play on her computer at work where she regularly listens to music to pass the tedium of her job. What did she do? She simply downloaded the files from the Net onto her PC and played that instead.
The problem is she was still angry that the CD she bought was intentionally disabled, preventing her from using it as she wished. Do you know what she did next? She returned the CD. A perfect example of a dissatisfied consumer who already committed to the purchase and was completely discouraged by the intentional hampering of the product. Scariest for the music industry was when I heard her angrily mutter these words…"I won't make that mistake again."" - Richard Menta from his article, The MP3 Losers of 2002.File 91:
"If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for the schoolchildren of Texas."
- Texas Governor James Ferguson explains, in 1917, why he vetoed a bill funding the teaching of foreign languages. (More good stuff here.)File 90:
"Copyright is the first deadly sin of the 21st century."
- Brent Bambury, host of CBC Radio's GrooveShinny. (2004.01.10)File 89:
Thank you for doing business with you.
Regards,Sven
File 88:
"The most effective step that you can take to help protect yourself from malicious hyperlinks is not to click them. Rather, type the URL of your intended destination in the address bar yourself. By manually typing the URL in the address bar, you can verify the information that Internet Explorer uses to access the destination Web site."
- Microsoft Knowledge Base. Of course, you could just use another browser.File 87:
"It would take me about twenty minutes to get you ready to fly."
- My father, speaking to my mother. (2003.07.02)
File 86:
"Goudas also keeps the salt at a minimum, in order to meet the needs of those on a specific diet, such as diabetics or Rastafarians."
- The Jamaican Xpress, page 20.
File 85:
"Directory Services are like SAABs. You never notice them until you think about owning one, then you see them everywhere."
- William Boswell, Inside Windows 2000 Server, page 378.
File 84:
"Windows 9x is inherently insecure."
- Sloan Crayton, Microsoft Office Beta SupportFile 83:
"The proof is the proof and when you have a good proof, it's proven."
- Jean Chretien, referring to what it would take to prove to him that Saddam Hussein has bad intentions. (2002/09/05)
File 82:
"Linux is not about free software, it is about community. It's not like Novell, it isn't going to run out of money--it started off bankrupt, in a way."
- Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO. For once, we agree on something. (2002/09/25)File 81:
"Here, I have a Kleenex and I'll even spit on it for you."
- Sarah Whittaker (2002.09.01)File 80:
"Having a Sun as a home machine is kind of like keeping a Doberman in an apartment."
- Bruno the ArrogantFile 79:
"Are you and SJ up for some XXX?"
- Wayne Diu, in reference to the movie.File 78:
"I decided what I want for my birthday - the women's long-sleeved shirt with Tux of it from ThinkGeek. It's too bad they don't have the "CodeGirl" one in small or medium. Hmm, it's a close call."
- Sarah Whittaker, removing any doubt that we were made for each other.File 77:
"God is nothing but a
giant bearded space moneky!!"
"Jesus is not the son of God
he is just a profit."
- Bathroom grafitti, Loeb Building, Carleton U. 2002, 07, 31
File 76:
"I'm not a stock broker - or a stock picker!"
- George W. Bush July 22, 2002File 75:
"We have to work hard agains terrorism in the boardroom."
- Some US government official making reference to Enron and WorldCom. Terrorism in the boardroom? Come on, it was just some crooked employees. Where is it written that all US press releases since 9/11 must use the word terrorism at least once?File 74:
"It's possible that the most bizarre homestyles on Earth are those proposed by Martha Stewart, which cater to the neuroses of women with paralyzing insecurity. What woman with a secure self-image could possibly dream of making those table decorations?"
- Roger EbertFile 73:
"I'm astonishingly uninformed."
- Deputy Prime Mininster John Manley, who is also Minister of Finance and Minister responsible for Infrastructure and Crown corporations, not to mention the chair of the Cabinet Committee on Public Security and Anti-Terrorism.File 72:
"We better stick with him because that's what brung us to the dance."
- Liberal MP speaking in support of Jean Chretien
File 71:
"There's nothing like a women's washroom in high tech for privacy."
- Sarah-Jane Whittaker
File 70:
"Do you know the story about bringing a rock? It's the kind of thing that I tell you, 'Ned, bring me a rock.' You look a little puzzled, turn around, go to the riverbed, bring me a rock, and I say, 'No, not that rock, another rock.' Some parts of the entertainment industry are playing 'bring me a rock' with us."
- Andy Grove, Business 2.0 interview
File 69:
"The problem today is that this word "intellectual property" has become captured by people like my friend Jack Valenti, who goes around talking about intellectual property not as a balance but as an extreme; not as something that we're supposed to be constantly restriking as technologies change to make sure it doesn't stifle innovation, but as a tool that the dinosaurs can use to make sure there are no mammals in the future."
- Larry Lessig, Business 2.0 panel on the future of information
File 68:
"Exorcists Battle Demon Toupee"
- Headline, Weekly World News, April 16th 2002
File 67:
"Hey,
At school they told us that only 20% of jobs opening s are listed in the
newspaper and online, the other 80% are spread by mouth to mouth. Soooo I
was just wondering if anyone on this mailing list ( since we'er all in
Ottawa) would know who's highierng for a Student tech support computer
related possision. Full-time Part-time anythings good. :)
thx"
- Posting to the OCLUG mailing list (You'd think you'd proof-read such a post..)
File 66:
"Well the Pope may be French, but Jesus is English!"
- A Knight's Tale
File 65:
"In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the Hurd people."
-Linus Torvalds
File 64:
"The Americans had our flag on their change room floor. Now I want to know if they want us to sign it."
- Healy Wickenheizer, Canadian Women's Hockey Team
File 63:
"Outsiders can be brought inside an organization using bribery, a practice widespread in many countries but illegal in the United States."
- Organizational Theory: Text and Cases page 178
File 62:
"I thought I was important once... then I got married."
- Burns MacDonald, OCLUG mailing list
File 61:
Talking with the cops ...
Hero: "Are they thin pancake men? 'S thin pancake differs from man."
Police: "We do not have the thin pancake, and want to see your license plate."
Our slick hero gets the girl ...
Hero: "This is my hole mouthful double car house."
Girl: "You just took me at the first time this evening."
Hero: "I need time to think over."
Girl: "Why this evening?"
Hero: "Because your low thorax is dressed up."
Girl: "Is it good looking?
Hero: "Is brand new. That is not just done dirty."
Goodbye from grandfather ...
Grandfather: "See off the electricity bicycle of red Buddhist nun to stroll about greatly."
- Miscellaneous quotes from the movie "Taxi." Thanks, Wayne!!
File 60:
"I would have rather spent three hours ironing than watching Pearl Harbour."
- Kathie Hall (and she hates ironing.)
File 59:
"See, that's the problem: I want your opinion, but I want it to be the same as mine."
- Sarah Whittaker (To me, said in jest.)
File 58:
"As soon as I get done the exam I'm going to start studying."
- Carleton student outside the Staecie Building, December 11, 2001
File 57:
"Don't let a woman fool you with her flattering chatter and a short skirt - she's after your barn."
- Hesiod, Works and Days, lines 373-374
File 56:
"Everything should be as simple as possible but not one bit simpler."
- Albert Einstein
File 55:
"There's nothing sexier than a woman with great breasts and a gun."
- Sean McCullough Lead vocalist, Opus Theory
File 54:
"Why, just yesterday, I was talking to a friend about (crappy) songs of times past, and she mentioned Don't Talk Just Kiss, by Right Said Fred. Well I had no recollection of said song, and her rendition left much to be desired, so I felt a download of the original was in order.
Two minutes later, I had my mp3 in hand. You know what that was? Music Piracy!! Yup, I broke the law. I'll probably do it again sometime. I've spent over $30,000 on music in the past few years, so the record labels will get no apologies from me. If I want to download a song I don't remember from a band I never liked that only had one hit anyway, that's a goddamned MISSION, and all the copy protection in the world ain't gonna keep it off my stereo."
- Anonymous DWord (Slashdot posting)
File 53:
"Before we get into the inevitable economics lesson impled by our headline this month, I just have to share a tale which speaks volumes about the emotional state of the Microsoft executive-suite crowd these days.
Seems a disenchanted MS staffer smuggled out a pocket dictation machine recording of a rousing address by CEO Steve Ballmer to the company's annual emplyee meeting for which MS had rented Seattle's Safeco Field baseball stadium. The meeting was closed to the public and press. The tape somehow found its way to The Wallstreet Journal which published the following excerpt, among others:
"You know who I think out biggest competitor is? " Ballmer reportedly screamed. "Linux. Linux, Linux, Linux! Burn it on your foreheads, people: Linux!"
Now, you'll be able to identify MS employees instantly when you meet them on the street."
- Rick James, The Monitor: Winstuff Nov. 2001
File 52:
- From Grant and Renee
File 51:
"The hills are alive with the sound of burgers... and they're all mine!!"
- Binky Barnes (From the kids show "Arthur")
File 50:
"If it's something important I'll forward it to you.
If it's a garbage-y letter, like from Microsoft, I'll just save it for you.."
- Kathie Hall (My Mom) October 29, 2001
File 49:
"The average user will save about a week a year."
- Bill Gates discussing the stabiliy enhancments of WinXP on Regis (2001 10 24)
Kinda makes you wonder about the last 6 years of Win9x, eh?
File 48:
"Well, maybe we are less "artsy" than a bunch of latté-swilling, chin-bearded, black-clad Mac-o-philes with PERFECTLY-desheveled bed-head hair styles, but for some of us the limitation is time. There is just too much to do in a day, and we all have to choose our priorities (or have them chosen for us)."
- Bill Strosberg, OCLUG mailing listFile 47:
Remember the underpants gnomes on Southpark? Their business model was: 1. Steal underpants 2. ??? 3. Profit Seems a lot like the Linux business model.- Anonymous Coward
File 46:
"Why use vi on windows? Makes no sense to me..It's like putting a spoiler on a Hyundai."
- xtremex (Slashdot posting.)File 45:
"I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."
- George Bush, 9/2001File 44:
"I think Linux is going through a somewhat painful transition as it moves away from a Wild-West/Darwinist development methodology into something a bit more thoughtful. I will admit to wanting to take a clue-bat to some of the people arguing against Rik's VM work who simply do not understand the difference between optimizing a few nanoseconds out of a routine that is rarely called verses spending a few extra cpu cycles to choose the best pages to recycle in order to avoid disk I/O that would cost tens of millions of cpu cycles later on. It is an attitude I had when I was maybe 16 years old... that every clock cycle matters no matter how its spent. Bull!"
- Matt Dillon, FreeBSD VM/Kernel team during an interview. Read it here.File 43:
"An election is unsolvable unless the entities have distinct values."
- Dr. Santoro, Prof for Distributed Systems 95.401File 42:
Me: "You know, I'm not a jerk.."
Sarah: "No, we've already established that you're an Athol!"
File 41:
"Aye matey, I be Captain Pig; terror of the Seven Seas. My body is in Davey Jones Locker, but I've a fine wooden head. Aaargh."
- Renee McSheffrey (Don't ask..)File 40:
"Oh no! She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's a moron! Oh well, that's love for you."
- The evil doctor in FuturamaFile 39:
- KGhostscript 2.2 error message.
File 38:
THE SOFTWARE IS INTERNET FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. COPYING AUDIO CDs FOR POSTING IN A PUBLIC FORUM SUCH AS THE INTERNET IS AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT AND INTERNATIONAL TREATIES AS IS DOWNLOADING SUCH FILES.- MPTrip user manual. Couldn't have said it better myself.
File 37:
"TOKEEP THE PRODUCT BEING LONG USED. PLEASEDONT CUT HARD THINGS"- Warning from a huge cleaver I got as a gift.
File 36:
"Your resistance to the anti-virus is unique"
- Ardak, the IT manager at webHancerFile 35:
"It has to get worse before it gets better."
- Ken Hall (My father.)File 34:
"It will never cease to amaze me how a group of developers can take an idea, call it crap, tear it apart, put it back together again, exponentially increase the amount of work involved, call it beautiful, congratulate themselves for their brilliance and not offer to help in any way."
- AnonymousFile 33:
"What is a committee? A Group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
- Richard Harkness New York Herald Tribune 15 June 1960
File 32:
"If Zoltok could have gotten between his legs he'd have been in business."
- The CBC announcers for Hockey Night in Canada. It's playoff time!
File 31:
"The older I get the more I think there's nothing scarier than girls."
- Arthur (A cartoon about little animals that go to school together.)
File 30:
"But it seems most people feel strongly about this, so consider Jesper's suggestion written into the peanut butter."
- Sam Th (discussing BiDi support on the AbiWord Mailing List)
File 29:
"The Big Rocks:
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks - rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, and your children. Anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be devastated. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your energy and your time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. TAKE YOUR PARTNER OUT DANCING. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
- blueforce Slashdot Posting
File 28:
oil pastel on hotel stationary
$250. (+shipping/handling)
- Billy Martin's Illyb on-line Gallery (He's the second M in MMW)
File 27:
- SatireWire http://www.satirewire.com/cards/jesusaol.shtml
File 26:
"Where there is much desire to learn, there of necessity will be much arguing, much writing, many opinions; for opinion in god men is but knowledge in the making."
John Milton Areopagitica (1644)
File 25:
Alnoor: "Alas mateys, I have no peripheral vision!"
Jordan: "That's just too bad.."
- Alnoor Allidina and Jordan. Check out the MP3
File 24:
"I believe that computers bugs are harmless in some cases but in other scenarios it could be very dangerous e.g nuclear systems."
- HMOONEY [71] in a 32.214 discussion on software liability
File 23:
"If you do one thing, you've done something."
- Land Rover slogan (as heard on CBC Newsworld)
File 22:
"If you've ever worked with or for a college, you understand this dichotomy. A university is a huge, slow-changing organization, filled with bureaucrats and some seriously smart people, all playing in their fiefdoms and infighting for money or power, wrapped around either the most useless or completely important research projects. It's a weird mix. The majority of the research is a waste of time, but there are enough successes to make the whole concept viable. This may or not may be better than the commercial (real) world, but it is a different model, with interesting results."
File 21:
"A religion is a cult that is politically powerful enough that it cannot be safely persecuted. I would say Unix qualifies as a religion."
- grytpype (Slashdot posting)
File 20:
- Microsoft Windows 2000. Gotta love it.
File 19:
"God is not just a cosmic pudding."
Noel A. Salmond - Religion 34.101 at Carleton U
File 18:
If you are using MS SQL Server, then you will require a separate machine for the Web Server. This has nothing to do with disk space, but memory and CPU. MS SQL Server does not play well with other apps, it expects to be the only guy in the sandbox.
Trust me, I've been there. My Web Server is not used that much (maybe 5 users). Yet it would crash about every other day, which made it necessary to reboot the server (yes, the database server too). Having them separate solved this problem. It will also help you when it comes to administrating the web server. You can play all you want and not affect the database server.
- David Brown on the ClearQuest Users Mailing List.
File 17:
For the love of God, if you can find a girl who: a) knows what "root" is b) knows what to do with it c) lets you look at her naked by all means, give her ANYTHING she wants!
- IntelliTubbie in a great Slashdot posting
File 16:
"I once saw this gem in a piece of C++ code: "#define private public", just before including a header file. Someone who wants data that badly will find a means to get at it!"
- Sriram Srinivasan, Advanced Perl Programming Section 6.4
File 15:
"The only glimmer of hope has been Sun, which seems to have a practice of being smart during the even-numbered years and downright silly during the odd-numbered ones."
- Eric W. Sink CEO, SourceGear discussing Sun's imminent release of StarOffice under the GPL
File 14:
"It's 7-Up, I swear to God!"
- Crazy fellow Canadian on Canada day 2000
File 13:
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
- One of BeOS 5.0 PE Error messages when it can't find a web site. They're all Haiku. Cool.
File 12:
"DO NOT KEEP MONKEYS UNLESS YOU CAN FULLY SATISFY THEIR NEEDS"
- Johan Mommens, on his Marmoset page.
File 11:
"Every time I go in to the Dollar Store I hear one of our songs."
- Chris Hall (My sister) commenting on The Heaters' playlist
File 10:
"I Used to aspire to Geekdom.
I tried writing poetry in HTML, but the tags got in the way."
- The nice lady at the 2nd cup in the Unicentre
File 9:
"You can't tickle the lint..."
- Sarah-Jane Whittaker, avoiding getting up...
File 8:
"It's great to be back in the Mathematical Groove again..."
- Sarah-Jane Whittaker, enjoying 95.384
File 7:
"Never be afraid of who you are."
- Andrew McCourt
File 6:
"Even though technology seems to progress faster than the speed of light, it's filtered through another universal constant - the speed of bureaucracy."
- Moses Avalon March '99 Keyboard Magazine, referring to MP3's and the Music industry
File 5:
"I Can't be too hard on Chrissy, I'm basically a slob myself."
- Ken Hall (Father) Referring to my Sister's (Chris) bedroom
File 4:
"Geez, when you said you had to reboot Moses, I had a picture of you drop-kicking your cat!"
- Dale Whittaker
File 3:
"One of the interesting aspects of working in a mixed-platform environment is how one OS highlights the shortcomings of another, and vice-versa."
- Jerome Lacroix - The Monitor, November 1999
File 2:
"There's no point in teaching them when they're high. They're not going to learn anything anyway."
- Renee McTavishi
File 1:
"While the commercial software industry was bloating up the original innovative PC applications with unneeded features, and Microsoft was working on such splendid innovations as Microsoft BOB (that's the failed attempt to make Windows even more friendly, whose sole survivor is that hideous talking paper clip in the Microsoft Office applications), this worldwide collaborative community came up with the Web, they came up with email, and all the things that make the Internet so interesting.)"
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